Macam-macam ada: Jokes

Wonderful coffee
Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today.
Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today.

Doctor's promise
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."

Dentist's thinking
Patient: "It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth."
Dentist: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

In safe hands
Patient: Doctor I heard 10 percent of the total patients undergoing this surgery die.
Doctor: Don't worry man, those 10 percent patients operated by me are already dead. Now it's the turn of the 90 percent survivors.

Macam-macam ada: Really funny

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other,
"Are you a little girl or a little boy?"

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.

"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply.

"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your
crib and
find out."

He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's crib, then
quickly
disappeared beneath the blankets.

After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face.

"You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly.

"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?"

"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"you've got pink socks and I've got blue ones."

SHAME ON YOU, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ??

.

Macam-macam ada: if i'm the teacher, i'll kill myself !!!!!!

Sengal Gusi: Computer Jokes

Hot Joke: I Want to Buy That

I Want to Buy That

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red .

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" HA HA HA HA HA

Lawak Hangat: Jokes

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives.
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If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.
----------------------------------------------------------
Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
----------------------------------------------------------
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
----------------------------------------------------------
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that
he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going
thru hell.
----------------------------------------------------------
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
----------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Lawak Hangat: Jokes Of Mr. Bean

1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.


Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?


Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?


Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!


2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?


Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?


Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure,
the
answer is 6!!


3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.


Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?


Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!


4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?


Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?


Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?


Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?


Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and
4worse.


6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?


Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't
see
any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?


Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.


7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:


Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.


Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder


Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs
because of
a power failure.


Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3
hrs.


9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c
or
two c?


Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!