Mati atas laptop

Ya sekali pandang macam ayam ni mati atas laptop. Siapalah tuannya sampai bawa laptop masuk reban ayam.

Sebenarnya ayam tersebut ialah pen drive aka thumb drive. Malah ada juga yang panggil benda ni usb jer.. huhu. Sesuai digunakan oleh penjual ayam di pasar.



Yang ni pulak lagi bahaya. Silap-silap ada yang tertelan pula. Direka khas untuk Bai jual roti.



Lagi koleksi pen drive cool ni di blog STRANGE WORLD



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"bisnes online yang mudah dan gempak! duduk rumah pun duit masyuk!!"

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Surat kepada Bill Gates

Subject: Masalah dengan komputer baru

1. Di situ ada butang 'start' tetapi tiada butang 'stop'. Tolong check ni ya.

2. Di menu kami jumpa 'Run'.Salah seorang dari kawan saya klik 'Run' dan terus berlari. Jadi kami minta anda buatkan menu 'sit', jadi kami boleh klik sambil duduk.

3. Satu keraguan adalah samaada mana-mana 're-scooter' didapati di sistem? Saya mencari hanya tetapi hanya jumpa 're-cycle', tetapi saya mempunyai sebuah skuter pada rumah saya.

4. Terdapat butang 'Find' tetapi ia adalah tidak berkerja dengan betul. Isteri saya hilang kunci pintu dan kita cuba satu bahagian mengesan kunci dengan ini butang'Find', tetapi adalah tidak dapat bagi mengesan. Tolong membetulkan masalah ini.

5. Anak-anak saya belajar 'Microsoft word' kini beliau mahu belajar 'Microsoft sentence', jadi bila anda nak provide ni?

6. Saya membawa komputer, CPU, tetikus dan papan kekunci, tetapi terdapat hanya satu ikon yang menunjukkan 'MY Computer': bila anda akan menyediakan bakinya spt CPU dll?

7. Mengejutkan apabila di 'My Pictures' takde satu pun gambar saya, jadi bila anda nak masukkannya dalam tu?

8. Di situ ada 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' bagaimana dengan 'MICROSOFT HOME' sedangkan saya menggunakan PC ni kat rumah sahaja?

9. Anda menyediakan 'My Recent Documents'. Bila anda akan menyediakan 'My Past Documents'?

10. Anda menyediakan juga 'My Network Places'. Minta tolong sesangat jangan sediakan 'My Secret Places'. Saya tak mahu isteri saya tahu ke mana saya pergi selepas pulang pejabat.

Dan yang akhir sekali dari saya kepada Bill Gates :

Tuan, bagaimana nama anda Gates sedangkan anda jual WINDOWS?

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Lawak IT

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Siapa peneraju telekomunikasi

Tiga negara, iaitu Amerika, Britain, dan Malaysia berlumba-lumba menentukan siapa diantara mereka yang lebih dulu menggunakan teknologi canggih dengan meneliti keadaan tanah negaranya masing-masing untuk melihat siapa yang terhebat di masa yang lalu.

Disepakati penelitian dimulai dari Amerika terus Britain dan terakhir Malaysia.

Di Amerika, setelah penggalian sudah mencapai 1000 meter maka ditemukan kabel tembaga, maka pasukan Amerika dengan bangganya menyimpulkan bahwa 1500 tahun yang lalu telah dibangun jalur telefon dengan memakai kabel tembaga di Amerika.

Di Britain, setelah penggalian sudah mencapai kedalaman 1000 m tidak ditemukan kabel tembaga, tetapi setelah mencapai kedalaman 1500 m ditemukan serpihan kaca maka pasukan Britain tersebut dengan bangganya menyimpulkan bahwa 2500 tahun yang lalu telah dibangun jalur komunikasi dengan memakai Fiber Optik di Britain.



Dan terakhir di Malaysia, setelah penggalian sudah mencapai kedalaman 500 m dan 1000 m sampai seterusnya tidak ditemukan apa-apa, lalu dengan penuh bangganya, maka pasukan Malaysia menyimpulkan bahawa 5000 tahun yang lalu komunikasi di sini telah menggunakan wireless.=))

Ordering Pizza in 2020

Operator : " Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your.."

Customer : " Hello, can I order.."

Operator : " Can I have your multipurpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer : " It's eh.. hold on.. 6102043338-45-54610"

Operator : " Ok.. you're ... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 40942X66, your office 7X452302 and your mobile 014-2XX2566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer : " Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?"

Operator : "We are connected to the system, Sir"

Customer : May I order your Seafood Pizza.."

Operator : " That's not a good idea Sir."

Customer : "How come?"

Operator : " ACcording to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, Sir!"

Customer : " What?,.. What do you recommend then?"

Operator : " Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer : " How do you know for sure?"

Operator : " You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir."

Customer : " Ok, I give up.. Give me three family size one then, how much willthat cost?"

Operator : " That should enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer : " CAn I pay by credit card?"

Operator: " I'mafraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card over the limit and you're owing your bank$3720.55 since October last year.That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan."

Customer : " I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cah before your guy arrives"

Operator : " You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today."

Customer : " Nevermind ust send the pizza, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : " About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motocycle.."

Customer : " What "

Operator : " According to the details in system, you own a Scooter, .. registration number..B3337BZ

Customer : " $%#@^^%^#"

Operator : " Better watch your languange Sir. Remember on 15th JUly 1987 you were convicted of using abusive languageto apoliceman..?"

Customer : [Speechless]

Operator : " Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer : " Nothing.. by the way.. aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertise?"

Operator : " We normally would Sir, but based on your records, you are also diabetic... "

^%&*^$&*^$*#%$*(^&*... ..

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY COMPUTER !!

src="http://www.impaksearchmarketing.com/images/488x60.jpg" align="center" alt="Panduan Yahoo Search Marketing">


You installed the best in me.

Your picture is always in my background.

You clicked my heart gently.

Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me.

You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted.

I'm always connected to you with more than 56 heart beat persecond.

You hacked my brain and registered your name in it.

You are the only one that could navigate my feelings and explore my emotions at the same time.

You are the only one that can log into my heart and never logout.

You don't have to search for me, cause we are always linked to each others.

I see your name everywhere, my FrontPage, my homepage and all my software.

I scanned my life and found that I'm only infected by you.

You are the virus I'd never remove, and why should I do?.

You formatted my life and added happiness to view.

Believe me it is true... ... ... .I love you more than my CPU .

System Upgrade

Just for laughs …





UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

Dear IT Support,



Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow

down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and

jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.



In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such

as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable

programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.



And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply

crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,

but to no avail.



What can I do?



Signed,

Desperate Housewife



Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,



First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an

operating system.



Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download

Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.



If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the

applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.



But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence

2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.



Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav

files.



Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another

Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash

Husband 1.0.



In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited

memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.



You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance.

I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.



Good Luck,

IT Support

Funny Pics

Don't Throw your old PC 2

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Don't Throw your old PC 1

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