The income tax officer

The income tax officer decides to audit businessman Kewalramani, and summons him to the income tax office.

The officer is not surprised when Kewalramani shows up with his attorney, Jamshedji..

The officer says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you won money gambling. I'm not sure the income tax finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Kewalramani. "How about a demonstration? "

The officer thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Kewalramani says, "I'll bet you ten thousand rupees that I can bite my own eye."

The officer thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Kewalramani removes his glass eye and bites it.

The officer's jaw drops.

Kewalramani says, "Now, I'll bet you Twenty Thousand rupees that I can bite my other eye."

The officer can tell Kewalramani isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Kewalramani removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned officer now realizes he has wagered and lost Thirty thousand rupees, with Jamshedji as a witness.

He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Kewalramani asks.

"I'll bet you Sixty Thousand rupees that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The officer, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and Decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, So he agrees again.

Kewalramani stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The officer leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss Into a huge win.

But Jamshedji moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the officer asks.

"Not really," says Jamshedji, the attorney.

"This morning, when Kewalramani told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me One Hundred Thousand Rupees that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

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Cari Pahala

Assalamu'alaikum wbth.

Saya hanya tolong perpanjangkan... hubungi no telepon dibawah untuk maklumat lanjut :

Berikut ada beberapa info yg boleh dimanfaatkan oleh kita bersama untuk turut serta menyumbang dan berbakti:


1. Sumbangan untuk membantu Program dakwah Orang Asli di K.Lipis anjuran HALUAN Malaysia. Boleh layari www.haluan.org.my.


Sila hubungi Ustaz Izzudin Md Adi untuk keterangan lanjut: 012-5859537, yang nak sertai misi program pun boleh. Dana amat diperlukan untuk menampung kos gerakerja Dakwah. Program akan dijalankan secara berkala. (Gerakan missionari berulang alik saban minggu bertugas di sana).



2. Menyumbang tajaan makanan untuk program lawatan 50 orang asli dari Cameron Highlands ke Selangor dari 11 - 14 Julai 2007. Maklumat lanjut hubungi Sdr. Razali Maarof: 019 333 8484


3. Membiayai dan menaja program Kem Program Cemerlang Akademik & Sahsiah Terpuji untuk anak-anak yatim & miskin pada bulan Ogos. Program akan dijalankan di UKM. Pertanyaan lanjut hubungi Sdr. Razali Maarof - 019 333 8484


4. Asrama HALUAN Penyayang menawarkan tempat (asrama & pembiayaan pendidikan) untuk anak-anak yatim. Kepada muslimin & muslimat yg ada maklumat atau info untuk mendaftarkan anak-anak yatim berusia 9-10 tahun ke asrama tersebut, sila hubungi Sdr W.Rafi 013-6714502


5. Tenaga sukarelawan diperlukan untuk mengajar tusyen di Asrama HALUAN Penyayang, Bukit Naga Shah Alam, (Subjek: Sains, Maths, B,Inggeris) bagi pelajar Tingkatan 1 & 2. Keterangan hubungi Sdr W.Rafi: 013-6714502

A bizarre "mouse"

F1 cars

LOOKING FOR A NEW BEAUTIFUL HOUSE ??

THE HUMAN HEART

THE HUMAN HEART A human heart destined for transplant lies cradled in a TransMedics Organ Care System. The device can keep a heart warm and beating—and viable for many hours longer than the conventional method for handling donor hearts: immersion in a saline solution and packing in ice. Dramatic advances in computed tomography now provide detailed scans in ten scalpel-free seconds. This image of a heart beating in a human chest reveals a narrowed artery—potential trouble. Danuel Allen lived 54 days with an artificial heart implanted in his chest. He was comforted by the thump, says Sharon, his wife, who could hear the heart beating from across the room. A couple of weeks after this photo was taken Allen received a transplanted human heart, but he died from an infection within months. More than 60,000 miles (97,000 kilometers) of arteries, veins, and capillaries in an adult body pulsate to a muscular rhythm—100,000 heartbeats a day. Scientists once viewed the cardiovascular system as a pump and a lot of pipes; now they increasingly focus Holding a photograph of their parents, six Steffensen children—JoAnn, Marvin, Jeanette, Betty, Donald, and Cecil—once confronted a disturbing question: Why have members of their family suffered from an unusually high rate of heart disease for generations? A few years ago, DNA tests revealed that stricken family members share a mutant gene called MEF2A, which produces a protein that appears to make arterial walls more likely to rupture. This polyurethane heart can keep critically ill cardiac patients alive while they await a donated human heart. Once the device is surgically implanted, its attached plastic tubes run through the patient's skin to a battery-powered pneumatic pump. Despite the cost—$106,000—the demand is strong. Some 3,000 people await heart transplants in the U.S., but only about 2,100 donor hearts are available each year. While boosting the supply of artificial hearts is a relatively simple technical hurdle, increasing the supply of human hearts is more challenging. Who will be tomorrow's donors? That question lingers for a patient in Germany, who recently received a CardioWest artificial heart like this one. At the Berlin Heart Institute in Germany, 62-year-old Siegfried Streiter endures four hours of surgery—from first incision to final sutures and bandages—to get his artificial heart. The device will not only keep him alive, says Dr. Roland Hetzer, chief surgeon; its strong, steady pulse might also help clear the chronic congestion in his lung vessels. "A transplanted human heart would have failed immediately," says Hetzer. Days after open-heart surgery, Lawrence Silberman tries to relax as massage therapist Kathleen Ullmann administers craniosacral therapy. With her gentle touch and extraordinarily sensitive fingertips, Ullmann promotes a state of deep relaxation and facilitates the flow of fluids that surround the brain and spinal cord, which can improve the functioning of the central nervous system. Meditation and yoga also help cardiac patients recover from surgery. Four months after receiving his artificial heart, Siegfried Streiter often gets out and about—but not without the rolling power pack that keeps the heart beating. The equipment beeps at him periodically, says Streiter, but he's not complaining. "The good news is, I'm alive."

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Vintage CARS

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World's Smallest School

An elementary school in China has just one teacher and one pupil.

Li Yongchun, 61, has been teaching at the school in Dasu village, Longjing region for over 25 years.

He explained: "At first, the school had more than 400 students, but in the '90s, more and more families migrated from the mountain village to make a living outside, and there were just over 10 students left.

"In 2000, the city education bureau decided to shut down the school after the graduation of the last student. New kids can register and board at another school in nearby Sanhe town, which is a two-hour drive away."

But the family of a third grader named Han Hongyang can't afford the boarding fee, so she became the last remaining student. Link

Perogol bersiri cari 'kucing' gemparkan Kg Baru

28-06-2007 10:32:22 PM

KUALA LUMPUR: "Kucing abang hilang. Kucing itu lawa. Adik boleh tolong cari kucing itu tak? Nanti abang bagi upah." Itulah taktik seorang lelaki, dipercayai perogol bersiri, yang menjadikan kanak-kanak perempuan sebagai sasaran sebelum mencabul atau merogol mereka di sekitar Kampung Baru di sini. Dalam kejadian terbaru yang berlaku pagi semalam, seorang kanak-kanak perempuan berusia enam tahun menjadi mangsa nafsu lelaki tersebut. Ketika kejadian 11 pagi itu, budak perempuan itu yang sedang menunggu ibunya setelah tamat waktu sekolah agama, dipercayai dipujuk lelaki terbabit sebelum dibawa ke satu lokasi tidak diketahui. Ketua Jabatan Siasatan Jenayah Kuala Lumpur, SAC II Ahmad Ibrahim berkata, kehilangan kanak-kanak perempuan itu disedari ibunya yang datang menjemput anaknya di sekolah. "Ibu bapa mangsa telah mencari anak mereka kira-kira lima jam di kawasan sekitar dan mereka hanya menjumpai mangsa kira-kira pukul 5 petang setelah lelaki itu menurunkan mangsa di tepi jalan," katanya. Beliau berkata kanak-kanak itu ditemui dalam keadaan separuh bogel dan terdapat kesan darah pada bajunya serta kesan lebam pada badannya. Kanak-kanak itu, yang turut mengalami trauma yang serius, kemudian dibawa ke Hospital Kuala Lumpur untuk pemeriksaan lanjut dan laporan awal mendapati dia mengalami kecederaan di bahagian sulitnya, dipercayai akibat dirogol. "Kita syak kanak-kanak ini dirogol tetapi kita masih menunggu laporan penuh HKL. Polis juga belum lagi mengambil keterangan mangsa kerana keadaan beliau tidak tenteram," kata Ahmad. Beliau berkata polis sedang memburu lelaki berkenaan dan harap orang ramai yang mempunyai maklumat akan tampil untuk bantu siasatan polis. Seorang peniaga, yang hanya ingin dikenali sebagai Abang Mat, kenalan rapat keluarga mangsa, mendakwa kejadian seumpama itu adalah yang ketiga di kawasan Kampung Baru dalam tempoh sebulan ini. Menurutnya kejadian pertama berlaku pada cuti penggal sekolah lalu melibatkan budak perempuan berusia lapan tahun, manakala kes kedua berlaku awal bulan lalu melibatkan mangsa berusia tujuh tahun. Seorang peniaga dikenali sebagai Agus, mendakwa anaknya hampir menjadi mangsa perogol bersiri itu pada cuti penggal sekolah yang lalu. "Anak saya keluar bersama adik-adiknya ke pasar minggu dan mereka beritahu seorang lelaki yang menaiki motosikal hitam menghampiri mereka dan meminta mencari kucingnya yang hilang," katanya. Agus berkata anaknya terselamat kerana dia tidak sukakan kucing dan menolak permintaan lelaki itu dengan berkata: "Kita orang tak beranilah pakcik tangkap kucing." Sebelum meninggalkan kanak-kanak itu, lelaki berbadan kurus dan bertopi itu sempat berkata bahawa dia akan mencari orang lain untuk membantu mencari kucingnya yang hilang. BERNAMA

Meet Eclyse - the amazing zebra crossing

It looks as if someone tried to give a zebra a respray. . . then ran out of white paint halfway through the job. But in reality there is no artificial colouring on display here. This amazing but natural coat belongs to Eclyse the zorse.

Her father is a zebra, while her mother is a horse. And she's walking proof of how a child inherits genes from both parents.

For while most zebra-horse crossbreeds sport stripes across their entire body, Eclyse only has two such patches, on its face and rear.

The one-year-old zorse was the accidental product of a holiday romance when her mother, Eclipse, was taken from her German safari park home to a ranch in Italy for a brief spell.

There she was able to roam freely with other horses and a number of zebras, including one called Ulysses who took a fancy to her.

When Eclipse returned home, she surprised her keepers by giving birth to the baby zorse whose mixed markings betray her colourful parentage.

The foal was promptly given a name that is in itself a hybrid, of her parents' names.

Now she's become a major attraction at a safari park at Schloss Holte Stukenbrock, near the German border with Holland, where she has her own enclosure.

Link & Image: DailyMail

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